Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
