He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
