Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I will be naked everywhere
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
