apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
