WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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