I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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