**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
