If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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