How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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