If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
