I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
