It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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