He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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