she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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