They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
