I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
