Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
