he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
