Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
