So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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