Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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