she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
