Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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