I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
