Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
