doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
