How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
