He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
