what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
