I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
