Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
