the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
