Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
