just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
