i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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