I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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