This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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