You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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