Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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