i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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