he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
