I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
