I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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