i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There are leaves in my underwear?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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