i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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