i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
