I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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