he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I deserve this hangover.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
