At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
