Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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