i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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